Love me, love my cat - or the axeman cometh

Masai the cat has pointed out this article in today's online edition of The Sydney Morning Herald.

Man 'killed parents over cat remarks'

August 3, 2007 - 3:16PM

A man who specialised in family conflict killed his parents with an axe when they laughed at him over the death of his cat, a court has heard.

Stephen Alexander Harper, 44, pleaded guilty in the Supreme Court in Launceston today to the murders of Roderick Alexander Harper, 88, and Helene May Harper, 77.

Prosecutor John Ransom told the court that Stephen Alexander Harper, 44, of east Launceston, had been living in a flat behind his parents' home when he committed the crimes on August 30 last year.

Mr Ransom said Harper, a counsellor who specialised in family conflict, had snapped when his parents laughed at him over the death of his cat, and had repeatedly hit them both over the head with an axe.

The case has been adjourned until the end of August for sentencing.

AAP

How insensitive of his parents to not respect the special love that a man can have for his pussy! Mr Harper should engage the services of a cat-loving Melbourne barrister so that true justice may be done!

A Dose of Reality

Turn up your speakers!

It's the Jelly Song!

OMG! This is adorable!

Even those who don't like babies much have got to admit this is cute. Look at the widdle chubby leggies! The rosy bubba cheeks!

Who needs a dummy when you've got feeties!

Bobs quick guide to using apostrophe's

One of my pet hates. Click image to see the larger version. If you want.

Ramon, идет прочь, я многодельно

BROTHEL! ROFL LMAO OMG!

Silence of the RAMs

Don't trust cute owls

Now I'm on the P-plate h8ting wagon

I usually try to keep an open mind regarding the mention of provisional plate drivers in the media, but last night I found myself face to face with the results of the actions of one idiot driver.

Last night about 8:00, I get a call on my mobile. It's my brother, frantically asking if I can help. He's had a call at work that his wife's been in a car accident on the way to work, he's trying to get there but it will take him another twenty minutes - can I go there until he gets there? I ask about their kids, are they in the car with her? but luckily they're at home with their grandmother.

I'm fucking hopeless usually with motor vehicle accidents. I was in a four car accident years ago in which I lost my pregnancy and ended up with permanent back damage, thanks to a 17 year old P-plater. I avert my gaze when driving past accident sites. I hate rubberneckers and ghouls. Only seen photographs of the results and that was enough for me. But I forget about me and it's only a few streets away, so I'm there quickly.

K's distressed and in pain, she's trapped in the car, the car is resting on its side. She was driving through an intersection and didn't see the young idiot coming at her through the red light. The guy is unhurt, but crying and protests to the police that he was slowing down, struck her at 30km/h. A witness says bullshit. Six metres of tyre marks say bullshit.

What really upsets K is that they have to cut the roof to get her out because she has suspected spinal injuries. My brother arrives as they've got her out onto the stretcher. She cries to me that she can't end up in a bloody wheelchair. All she can remember is listening to the radio in the car, then nothing until she awoke to find herself in the car, feeling pain and broken glass, and strangers' voices saying, you'll be okay love, hang on.

She's off to hospital with my brother, I promise to go straight to reassure her kids. I panic when I arrive at her house and realise while standing in the verandah light that I've got blood on my clothes and forearms. I don't want to frighten the kids, so I have to step back into the darkness when they answer the door and whisper to their grandmother that I need to change somehow before they see the mess. She tells the boys that Aunty needs to put mum's laptop in her room for her so I duck in the main bedroom, wash up in the ensuite and borrow a coat and jeans.

I reassure the big boy that no, mummy's not dead, she'll see him tomorrow. The little one is autistic, so appears to be oblivious to the drama.

I didn't sleep much last night, but the news this morning is good. No spinal damage, but bruising to the brain, a couple of deep lacerations, bruising and smaller lacerations. I manage to make K laugh on the phone when I say now she won't get to play wheelchair basketball like Fraser. The other driver was found to be in the low-level drink driving range and will be charged.

The teenage son of one of my best friends died last week when his neck was broken in a speeding vehicle driven by his P-plater mate.

Perhaps I should ring up John Laws and join the chorus of curmudgeonly whingers.

Masai's new toy

A middle-aged cat with her new appendage. Kick, Masai, kick! Good cat.

Masai shows that a cat doesn't have to live on black coffee and rice to be healthy and attractive. Power to all fat cats!

The Sixteen Million Dollar Aborted Baby

I'm not sure if this is supposed to a genuine artistic expression of grief, or just another nutter trying to get attention with yet another fabulously wacky eBay auction. This bloke has painted a dead foetus on a sanitary pad, framed it, titled it "Gods Unborn" and put it up for auction on eBay Australia. Someone has apparently purchased it using the 'Buy it Now' offer for $16 million, which is probably bullshit. The tortured 'artist', Ken Magri, has this as the auction description (his writing is as dodgy as his art):

"Unique and original artwork done in acrylic permanent fabric paint. Canvas substituted with womens sanitary pad, depicting a still fetus. The image is framed simply and effectively. The background is an orginal satin sheet which compliments the atmosphere and adds authenticity to the general theme.

This artwork is signed by the artist and a certificate of authenticity shall be forwarded with the artpiece.

The concept is not designed to intentionally cause disrespect, it is simply a concept depicting a part of life, and death and the unfortunate ramifications of the topic on abortion.

I the artist have personal loss due to a ex partner aborting our baby. This is my personal attempt to express my inner and outer feelings and emotions concerning a difficult period of time in my life journey. Also revealing the helplessness and the anger of not been able to prevent a life from non existence. 50 Percent of my sale here will be donated towards a mens charity specifically designed to councel men who also experience this type of grief and loss.

Please be reminded that all bids are legally binding and you are entering into a legal contract. Any fraudalent bids shall be promptly reported and acted upon, immediately. All questions shall be answered to the my best ability, and answered promptly.

thankyou
ken magri"

Click on each photograph to see larger version. If you really have to.


He wants $16 million for that crap? And it doesn't even come with wings?

Size 0 Barbie

This pic's doing the email rounds at the moment.

Anorexic Barbie - Comes with lanugo hair, scales, box of toy laxatives and hand weights!

Press her ribs and hear action phrases such as, "I ate a grape yesterday, and now I feel fat!" and, "Must lose weight, must lose weight!"

It would be funny if there weren't real women like this.

Don't tell Cookster

First there was the Happy Meal in New Zealand that came with a bonus condom, now an eight year old girl in the United States found marijuana, a weed pipe and a lighter in her Shrek the Third promotional Happy Meal box. A 17 year old employee confessed to hiding his stash in the box, which was accidentally given to the child and her family. The idiot had gone to work with the stuff in his pocket, but didn't want to be caught with them, so he'd put the items in an empty Happy Meal box and put it at the back of the store.

Another employee picked up the box - why didn't they notice it wasn't empty? - packed the box and it was given to the family through the Drive-Thru window. The little girl apparently exclaimed, "Daddy, I got two toys in my happy meal!" The father soon realised that the "green stuff" in the box wasn't part of the Shrek promotion.

Perhaps I should change my position on McDonald's and start buying their Crappy Meals for my children! After all, marijuana wouldn't be much worse for their health than Macca's rubbish food.

Sisyphus?

What Dione did last week

I was very busy last week. This is some of the highlights:

~ I sold my big red car. No more Audi (sob)
~ I discovered a new op-shop. It's in the feral, Housing Commission suburb, but so worth braving the bogans to get there. Scored a Tears for Fears CD for $1, a brand new Fred Bare girl's skirt for $2, a Guess leather backpack for $7 and a brand new popcorn machine for $3
~ Joined Freecycle. Now I can help save the world from landfill! Tim Flannery will heart me for it
~ Had some more progress on Project New Toenail. 2mm in two weeks. V.good!
~ I won this round of the family Iron Chef: Birthday Cake unoffical competition. I'll post a photograph of my masterpiece later on
~ Attempted to watch The Sideshow

Duchovny is still HOT

OMG. Here's David Duchovny at work on an ad campaign for his new series Californication. Yum.

If you can stand it, there is more underpants goodness at Just Jared.

Dolphin flips for trainer

Masai's first Cool Human Award goes to this trainer who obviously enjoys the affection of his dolphin friend.

Man/dolphin love... a beautiful thing.

My obese, daggy cat has her own awards now

One of my feline overlords enjoys sitting on my knee while I am reading the papers online. She shows interest if there's an image of what she recognises to be an animal on the page I'm reading. So now she wants me to put something on this site about humans who are kind to animals, especially cats of course.

I said, great idea, Masai! SG-S had his Samuel awards, we can have awards too. We'll be like SG-S and Nattie. Only you're a cat and probably three times the size of that funny little dog.

And if anyone wants to jeer and snigger, well fuck off. When's the last time you saw a cat go on a serial killing spree in an American high school? Or declare war on Iraq? Or raise interest rates? Or be stupid enough to throw away money on a Nigerian scam? Yeah, so shut the fuck up. Cats rock and in many ways are preferable to humans who can be total cunts.

So, with Masai's approval, here's her Award. Woohoo!

And Terri Irwin - bugger off, you're not getting one. You and Bindi are just attention-seeking, money-hungry showponies.

Holy Idol!

Heeeere's Jesus Christ, singing "I Will Survive".

Gigglez.